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Thread: New fun jokes part 30

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    Default New fun jokes part 30



    Hi all. It looks like were ready to move ahead to New Fun Jokes part 30 now, and just in time for the summer solstice this Friday.

    A Sense of Importance:

    A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
    The surgeon was standing there and waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
    The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"
    The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
    The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running."
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
    When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
    The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, and it would taste better if you bought one at a time."
    The Irishman replies, Well, you see, I have two brothers.
    One is in America, the other is in Australia, and I'm in Dublin.
    When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together.
    So I drink one for each o'me brothers and one for me self."
    The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
    The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn.
    One day, he comes in and orders two pints.
    All the other regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The Irishman looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs.
    "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that me wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking.
    But it hasn't affected me brothers though."
    Jim



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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed.
    So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'
    Jim



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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    I was going to make some chemistry jokes but sadly all the best ones argon.
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long.
    Jim



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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    Quote Originally Posted by Makuser View Post
    Hi all. It looks like were ready to move ahead to New Fun Jokes part 30 now, and just in time for the summer solstice this Friday.

    A Sense of Importance:

    A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
    The surgeon was standing there and waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
    The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"
    The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
    The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running."
    LOL!!! That one almost made me pee my pants! Bill
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    Burris

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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    Years ago I worked in an office with a real obnoxious, self righteous jerk. He was very dismissive of most of his co-workers and needless to say we did not get along. Anyway, one monday he came into work and was telling everyone that he had started to read The Exorcist over the weekend. Said it was the most evil book he'd ever read. Scared him so much that he couldn't finish it and to get rid of it he'd tossed it in the river.
    I bought a copy that night. Went into work early the next morning, soaked it in the sink and put it in his desk drawer.
    I know I'm going to hell but I'll be laughing all the way.
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    Quote Originally Posted by chich View Post
    Years ago I worked in an office with a real obnoxious, self righteous jerk. He was very dismissive of most of his co-workers and needless to say we did not get along. Anyway, one monday he came into work and was telling everyone that he had started to read The Exorcist over the weekend. Said it was the most evil book he'd ever read. Scared him so much that he couldn't finish it and to get rid of it he'd tossed it in the river.
    I bought a copy that night. Went into work early the next morning, soaked it in the sink and put it in his desk drawer.
    I know I'm going to hell but I'll be laughing all the way.
    Love it!
    j.gardavsky, chich and Makuser like this.

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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    Hello Chich,

    yours is the way of the righteous gentlemen!

    Well done, and continue to report how's going,

    JG
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people.
    It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch.
    Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
    Jim



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