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Thread: New fun jokes part 30

  1. #21
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30



    On still another day, we again went shopping to the Media Market.

    I explained to the guy at the shop, we need a telephone, as our Siemens Gigaset got a Giga problem on its Set.

    After a while, I have loudly interrupted the guy saying, we need a telephone:
    To make a call, and to receive a call, and nothing else.
    The guy has shown me, how practical it is to have a telephone with a torch light, when you can't find reading glasses, ...
    I stopped him short, saying: I need a telephone with big numbers on the keys, and with a loudspeaker, not a silent speaker.

    Finally, we have left the shop with another Gigaset, but with Giga numbers on Giga keys, and Giga loud.

    Best,

    JG
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  2. #22
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    A jellyfish has existed as a species for 500 million years, surviving just fine without a brain.
    That gives hope to quite a few people.
    Jim



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  4. #23
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    Hi Jim. But, we are finding that they have great memory retention with Prevagen. Thanks for the laugh tonight Jim, and the best of regards.
    bladekeeper and quincy like this.
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  5. #24
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    Some sardonic humor here. Every night I see on our television the advertisements for several medications. They say don't take this if you have this or that, stop taking this if you experience this or that, don't take this if you develop this or that. Sheesh, at my age I have all of these symptoms, and I don't even take any of these dang medicines. Thank goodness I have this to help:
    https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/15...-key-lime-pie/
    Last edited by Makuser; 07-09-2019 at 03:41 AM. Reason: typo
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  6. #25
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    The last time I stepped on a bathroom scale, it said one at a time.

  7. #26
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    Do you know why I don't eat at Applebees or Chilis?
    Because I'm old enough to microwave my own food.
    Jim



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  8. #27
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    ​




    Bob stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn’t start his back swing.

    Finally his exasperated partner asked, “What the hell is taking so long?”

    “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse,” Bob explained. “I want to make a perfect shot.”

    “Good lord!” his companion exclaimed. “You don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of hitting her from here.”
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  10. #28
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    Quote Originally Posted by Ricford View Post
    ​

    Bob stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn’t start his back swing.

    Finally his exasperated partner asked, “What the hell is taking so long?”

    “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse,” Bob explained. “I want to make a perfect shot.”

    “Good lord!” his companion exclaimed. “You don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of hitting her from here.”
    Hello Ricford,

    that's a very good one, reminding me of following:

    Some 50 km away there is a short course with the last green on a peninsula surrounded with deep water, and facing the clubhouse.
    You either hit the waters or the clubhouse, anything else is a wonder, see the attached pic, that the wonder did happen.
    Best,

    JG
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  11. #29
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    A Day on the Links:
    A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
    His friend says; “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
    The man then replies; “Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.”
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  12. #30
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 30

    Thank you for sharing these! Some are funny

 

 
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