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Thread: New fun jokes part 27

  1. #71
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 27



    Already bought the marshmallows. Also she had me gather sticks, as well as buy the ingredients for smores. Weird huh?

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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 27

    Quote Originally Posted by Buckethead View Post
    Already bought the marshmallows. Also she had me gather sticks, as well as buy the ingredients for smores. Weird huh?
    You're going to need one of these, then

    https://www.feldfire.com/Lakeland-50...SABEgLit_D_BwE

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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 27

    My friends said she grilled them, and called them chickens for not wanting to come to the BBQ.

    Is lighter fluid an ingredient for smores?

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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 27

    Quote Originally Posted by Buckethead View Post
    My friends said she grilled them, and called them chickens for not wanting to come to the BBQ.

    Is lighter fluid an ingredient for smores?
    Not unless they are flaming s'mores! But even then I think rum is preferred.....

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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 27

    I prefer rum, she knows me so well bless her heart!

    I've just finished reading a brilliant book called, 'How to avoid getting ripped off'...

    Best $5,000 I ever spent!

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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 27

    Have a friend who became a pediatrician. Had my doubts but he is doing really well considering he has such little patients.
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 27

    Quote Originally Posted by not_Fritz_Argelander View Post
    Not unless they are flaming s'mores! But even then I think rum is preferred.....

    That looks really tasty!

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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 27

    The Quotes of Steven Wright:
    1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
    2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
    3 - Half the people you know are below average.
    4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
    5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
    6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
    7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
    8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
    9 - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
    10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
    11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.
    12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
    13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
    14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
    15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
    16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
    17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
    18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
    19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.
    20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
    21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
    22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
    23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
    24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name
    25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
    26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
    27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
    28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
    29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
    30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
    31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
    32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
    33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
    34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
    35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 27

    One of our neighbors, a dentist, married a manicurist. Now, they are always fighting "tooth and nail."
    - Marshall

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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 27

    Quote Originally Posted by Buckethead View Post
    Found a bullet in my avocado.

    I guess you could call it Glockomole.
    Great! Thanks Buckethead! I just sprayed coffee on my laptop! Lol!

 

 
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