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Thread: New fun jokes part 12

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    Default New fun jokes part 12



    I hope that these take your mind off of your problems for awhile.

    What Vehicle Do You Need?:
    Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”
    Man: “I had to get to work.”
    Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”
    Man: "I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus."

    It Just Repeats Itself:
    The Judge asks the defendant, “When is your birthday Mr McKenzie?“
    “February 20th, Your Honor.”
    “And what year?”
    “Every year, Your Honor.”

    A New Commitment:
    I’ve read so many horrible things about drinking and smoking recently that I made a new, firm New Year’s resolution: NO MORE READING!

    My Gal Sal:
    "Hey Sal, what do you say to a nice walk?"
    "Oh Harry, that would be lovely"; she says.
    Harry responds; "Wonderful. Could you bring me some beer and cigarettes on your way back?"

    I hope that all of you enjoy these, have a great summer, and the best of regards.
    - Marshall
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    >)))))*>

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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12

    Figured I would get a job as a garbageman. First day, i asked about training. They told me just to pick it up as I went along.
    *******************----------------------********************
    I'm also known as VE7VJ
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12

    Hello Marshall and Chich,

    that's a perfect start for the Part 12!
    Thanks,

    JG
    chich and Makuser like this.
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12


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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12

    Skywatcher 10" Dob
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12

    Hi folks. Here are a few from over 4 1/2 years ago, for some of you newer members who may have missed these.

    Checkout Madness:
    I was in the six item express lane at the grocery store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, “So, which six items would you like to buy?”

    Time Waits for Nobody:
    Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told that there would be a 45 minute wait for a table. “Young man, we're both 90 years old”, the husband said. ”We may not have 45 minutes left”. They were seated immediately.

    I'm Doing Ok:
    A 106 year old man from the deep south in the US was interviewed on a local television station. The reporter asked the old man what was the secret to his longevity.
    The old man answered, "Well, I don't rightly know. I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, and I have 4 or 5 shots of good southern corn whiskey a day. But, I just have only one regret."
    The reporter asked, "You live to be 106 and you have one regret." "What could that be?"
    The old man answered slowly, "Well, If I knew that I was going to live so long, I would have taken better care of myself."

    I hope that you all enjoy these, and have a great weekend.
    - Marshall
    Orion Astroview 120ST f/5 Refractor on EQ3 mount
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    Celestron SkyMaster 15x70 Binoculars. ZWO ASI120MC camera.
    >)))))*>

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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12

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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12

    Nailed it!
    Don't, for heaven's sake, be afraid of talking nonsense! But you must pay attention to your nonsense.
    --L. Wittgenstein

    So when Nature tells you that your nonsense is wrong, try a nonsense that isn't contradicted.
    --??

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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12

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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12

    Seeing Makuser's joke reminded me of this one.

    A reporter was visiting and interviewing a man who had reached 114. She of course wanted to know the secret to his long life. "Clean living!" He smugly declared. " I don't drink, smoke or gallivant around town". Just then came an awful racket and loud off tune singing from another room in the house. "What is all that?" the reported asked. "Oh just try to ignore it." he sighed. "It's just Dad on one of his drunken binges."
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