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Thread: New fun jokes part 12

  1. #121
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12



    Quote Originally Posted by bladekeeper View Post
    Wake up already!
    I don't want to....

    Quote Originally Posted by smeyer8015 View Post
    Buy a lottery ticket...
    Scott
    Nah, why kill a winning streak

    Quote Originally Posted by ProfEclipse View Post
    Be afraid. Be very afraid.
    I am

    Quote Originally Posted by Brodavid1953 View Post
    First check to see if your are dreaming
    Second check to see if it is your wife
    If all the above works out, wow you need to go for the lottery
    I probably am, it is and see above on the lottery ticket.

    Quote Originally Posted by upfyrman View Post
    Such an epic event should be added to the history books, or perhaps Wikipedia:On this day/Today.
    right next to the "Speed of light exceeded" and "honest politician" entries....

    Quote Originally Posted by goldstar View Post
    Buy the 20 inch DOB you always wanted, the Ferrari, the Hasselblad, a Rolex and move in with the 18 year old doll down the street
    You had me a 20" dob....

    I keep thinking of Admiral Ackbar.... then I have this strange craving for calamari......
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  2. #122
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12

    Highway sign of the year, courtesy of MoDOT

    IMG_20170912_092140.jpg
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  4. #123
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12

    Quote Originally Posted by sketrip View Post
    Highway sign of the year, courtesy of MoDOT

    IMG_20170912_092140.jpg


    Scott
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  5. #124
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12

    “A Higgs boson goes into a church and the priest says, ‘We don’t allow bosons here.’ And the Higgs replied, ‘But without me there is no Mass.'”
    “Time flies like an Arrow, fruit flies like a Banana"
    - Marx

  6. #125
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  7. #126
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12

    Quote Originally Posted by smeyer8015 View Post


    Scott
    It's MO, where the Ozarks are prime outdoor camping area. Think of all the times the left lane has folks driving really slowly.
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  8. #127
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12

    A bit long, but worth it...
    If you aren't at least chucking by the end thinking of fond memories, you're probably already dead...
    (I checked it twice for language,......... )

    Growing up without a cell phone!!

    If you are 36, or older, you might think this is hilarious!
    When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda
    And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
    But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
    1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
    2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
    3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!
    4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
    5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
    6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!
    7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
    �� And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
    9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
    10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!
    11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
    12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
    13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!
    And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!
    See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!


    Sooooo Spot on!

    Jim
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  10. #128
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12

    Quote Originally Posted by jimminCT View Post
    [COLOR=#666666][FONT=Helvetica]
    2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
    What are you complaining about? I remember when stamps were 3 cents!
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12

    Quote Originally Posted by jimminCT View Post
    If you are 36, or older, you might think this is hilarious! If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! NO REMOTES!!! And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that! And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!
    So....... my rebuttal would be - Seriously DUDE !!! - Older than 36 - I'm 62 and you'd have to be at least 82 to have suffered all this. No cell phone, texts, Facebook, or Snapchat simply meant that you had REAL friends in the REAL world that you saw regularly FACE to FACE. Microwaves have been around since the '50's and most people had them by the mid '70's. TV's had remotes since the mid '60's. Cars have had seatbelts since the early '70's - so in short - if all this REALLY has you this upset - the good news is that the pot is away better than it ever was - so chill and smoke a joint!
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    Default Re: New fun jokes part 12

    Quote Originally Posted by Trombatissimo View Post
    So....... my rebuttal would be - Seriously DUDE !!! - Older than 36 - I'm 62 and you'd have to be at least 82 to have suffered all this. No cell phone, texts, Facebook, or Snapchat simply meant that you had REAL friends in the REAL world that you saw regularly FACE to FACE. Microwaves have been around since the '50's and most people had them by the mid '70's. TV's had remotes since the mid '60's. Cars have had seatbelts since the early '70's - so in short - if all this REALLY has you this upset - the good news is that the pot is away better than it ever was - so chill and smoke a joint!
    I'm 55
    We played in the woods more than in our houses... Winter or summer...
    We never had a microwave growing up
    We never had a remote until I was almost 20? Even the cable box had no remote when they came out! :O
    Having seatbelts, and Using them, were quite different stories...
    Most of the time, they were tucked under the seats along with the decomposing french fries..


    And let's not forget the rear facing station wagon seats!
    That brown mexican junk was always just that, junk....
    Jim
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