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Thread: Caution - For Wordsmiths Only -

  1. #1
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    Default Caution - For Wordsmiths Only -



    The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational

    In order to keep your dictionary up-to-date...



    The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.


    Here are the winners . . .

    1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

    2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an bunghole.

    3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

    4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

    5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

    6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting lucky

    7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

    8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

    9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

    10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

    11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? and then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

    12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

    13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

    14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

    15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

    16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

    17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.



    The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

    And the winners are:

    1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

    2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

    3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

    4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

    5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

    6. Negligent, adj. Absent-mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

    7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

    8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

    9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

    10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

    11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

    12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

    13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

    14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

    15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

    16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
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  2. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to BobDob For This Useful Post:

    f4_rockriver (01-31-2014),JFD (01-30-2014),Lowjiber (01-30-2014),Makuser (01-30-2014),Termhn (01-30-2014)

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    Default Re: Caution - For Wordsmiths Only -

    Thank you. I laughed quite a bit this morning.
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    Default Re: Caution - For Wordsmiths Only -

    I was going to post a kind reply to the hilarious original post, but decided not to because the forum is so screwed up that my computer will go to sleep.

    WAIT!!!! That may be a candidate for "Sarchasm".
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    Default Re: Caution - For Wordsmiths Only -

    Brilliant!

    13. Pokemon - especially brilliant!!
    Stevie


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    Default Re: Caution - For Wordsmiths Only -

    Lol I had a good laugh outta that thanks for posting.
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    Default Re: Caution - For Wordsmiths Only -

    Hi Bob. These were all very aqueous humorous. (I kept laughing so hard that my eyes started to water ). Thanks for the fun thread Bob, and best of regards.
    Last edited by Makuser; 01-30-2014 at 07:51 PM. Reason: Typo
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    Default Re: Caution - For Wordsmiths Only -

    That was Hilernialous :- I laughed so much I split my sides.......BA...Dum!!!
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