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Thread: Global Warming

  1. #1
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    Default Global Warming



    I have seen several articles suggesting that the north polar may disappear at times during the summer. So the big question is what do we do about Father Christmas? The problem is that he is not directly funded by any national government but is reliant on charity. No charity can fund the removal costs but there's lots of other problems. One of the reasons that relocation would be hard is that if you relocate flying reindeer away from the north pole, they could be exposed to various parasites and bacteria that are harmless to other animals. Although not fatal to flying reindeer, they remove their ability to fly. Some reindeer get greedy and graze on grasses for too long and have become ill. Father Christmas and his elves have been clever by storing grasses. However, reindeer that are unable to fly, whilst not sterile, are not able to produce flying offspring, even if their mating partner can fly. Thus, flying reindeer are slowly becoming extinct, although scientists at the north pole have had some success by keeping some flying reindeer as brood stock and not used for delivering presents.



    The WWF currently list flying reindeer as vulnerable but they would become critically endangered if they moved to the south pole or the Alps. One advantage of the Alps would be its proximity to the Large Hadron Collider. It would be physically impossible to move Santa's own LHC from the pole. However, scientists are concerned that the two weeks it takes to accelerate Santa and his reindeer to 99.4% of the speed of light would interrupt time dedicated to science. Children the world over wondered how a fat man in a well-padded suit could get down a chimney but, thanks to Albert Einstein, we now know that Santa and his sleight can easily pass through a keyhole, even if the key is left in.



    One thing that has helped Santa a lot is that his elves are now monitoring the Internet 24/7 to see if children have been sending hate messages online. This has resulted in a 35.1% reduction for the need for presents, as the number of bad children is now at its highest since monitoring began in 1966.



    However, the logistical, economical and environmental considerations are a concern.
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  2. #2
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    Default Re: Global Warming

    Been in the EggNog again Philip? LOL!

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    Default Re: Global Warming

    Quote Originally Posted by burris View Post
    Been in the EggNog again Philip? LOL!
    I rarely drink these days, due to poor health. On the long-lost BBC science forum there was a question about how to get the most energy from a cow. As I was somewhat inebriated when I read it I answered the best but practically impossible answer when I suggested that the most energy would be obtained by colliding the cow with an anti-matter cow at as near to the speed of light as possible.
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    Default Re: Global Warming

    Quote Originally Posted by Clouded Out View Post
    I rarely drink these days, due to poor health. On the long-lost BBC science forum there was a question about how to get the most energy from a cow. As I was somewhat inebriated when I read it I answered the best but practically impossible answer when I suggested that the most energy would be obtained by colliding the cow with an anti-matter cow at as near to the speed of light as possible.
    A lower energy overhead reaction is to simply turn anti-matter bulls loose in a cow pasture with an equal number of cows. You save on acceleration costs.

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  6. #5
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    Default Re: Global Warming

    Quote Originally Posted by not_Fritz_Argelander View Post
    A lower energy overhead reaction is to simply turn anti-matter bulls loose in a cow pasture with an equal number of cows. You save on acceleration costs.
    Hmm. The sexual dimorphism here may explain matter-antimatter asymmetry...
    Bryan

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  7. #6
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    Default Re: Global Warming

    Quote Originally Posted by bladekeeper View Post
    Hmm. The sexual dimorphism here may explain matter-antimatter asymmetry...
    One may also need a few extra matter cows because of the spontaneously broken Higgs symmetry that assigns higher mass to antimatter bulls?

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    Default Re: Global Warming

    My solution:
    it's deer hunting season here. Plenty to eat, set 'em free. Survival of the smartest.
    We have Rockets for Santa.
    Lightsail2 is just gonna go around and around the planet. Maybe we can help Santa get it off the ground before Dec. 25th.
    Last edited by Shabadoo; 12-01-2018 at 03:16 PM.

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    Default Re: Global Warming

    Quote Originally Posted by Shabadoo View Post
    My solution:
    it's deer hunting season here. Plenty to eat, set 'em free. Survival of the smartest.
    We have Rockets for Santa.
    Lightsail2 is just gonna go around and around the planet. Maybe we can help Santa get it off the ground before Dec. 25th.
    As the deer you hunt are unable to fly and cannot produce flying offspring, there is no reason why you can't hunt them.

    Santa doesn't need a light sail or a rocket as he flies his reindeer around a particle accelerator to reach 0.994c.
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    Default Re: Global Warming

    I reckon I didn't think that out too well.

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