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Thread: Orion Catalog

  1. #1
    Spaceman Spiff's Avatar
    Spaceman Spiff Guest

    Default Orion Catalog

    Don't get me wrong, I order from Orion
    and they sell some good stuff and have
    great customer servive, but I wish the
    descriptions in their catalog were written
    by amateur astronomers rather than some
    marketing guy:

    "Orion reflector telescopes gather and focus
    light with a precision ground & aluminized mirror."
    Comment: Skipping polishing sure saves labor.

    "The mightiest mount to come along in years."
    Comment: Guess the AP1200 mount is just too wobbly.

    "This nifty device..."
    Comment: I prefer spiffy devices.

    "No, Atlas wouldn't shrug at this equatorial
    Comment: Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand.

    "We've got the angle on diagonals."
    Comment: Oh, a pun.

    "But if you are the type that thinks halos look
    better on angels than on astronomical objects..."
    Comment: Stop it, my ribs are hurting from
    laughing - at how dumb that sounds.

    "Who said you have to be in the dark to
    do astronomy?"
    Comment: Another side-splitter.

    "Our beefiest, most advanced mount..."
    Comment: I'm still searching for the porkiest mount.

  2. #2
    david's Avatar
    david Guest

    Default Orion Catalog

    LOL! Here is my favorite, and it concerns the new "IntelliScope"
    setup (read: digital setting circles)..."Tap the 'NGC' button, select
    891...WHOOSH! You're there." Now, let me ask you dob users, does your
    arm "WHOOSH" when you move your scope?? Hey doc, my arm is
    "WHOOSHING"...can you fix it!!! ribs are hurting too!!

    Spaceman Spiff <nospam@spiffy.communist> wrote in message news:<3FB5DBFB.90306@spiffy.communist>...

  3. #3
    Richard F.L.R. Snashall's Avatar
    Richard F.L.R. Snashall Guest

    Default Orion Catalog

    But it does make good shim stock.

  4. #4
    Alan W. Craft's Avatar
    Alan W. Craft Guest

    Default Orion Catalog

    On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 01:55:39 -0600, Spaceman Spiff <nospam@spiffy.communist> wrote:

    "...enough to tease out dust lanes in nebulas..."

    I can't help it, but I may just picture a strip-tease
    dancer plying her trade right next to the telescope,
    illuminated by starlight; seductive; willing...

    ....thanks, Orion!

    One of but many things that makes me cringe are
    the human models, and with several of them striking
    ridiculous poses (pg. 5 of the 'Summer 2003' issue,
    upper photo...

    "Hey! Mom! Dad! Get outta the way! I can't see!"

    ....and pg. 7 of the Winter[? ...coverless] 1997 issue,
    lower right corner...

    "Hey! Grandpa! Take your hand off of my shoulder!
    You're making the Moon jiggle!")

    ....not to mention setting bad examples like grabbing
    ahold of the eyepiece while observing, and with one
    fellow actually resting his hand and perhaps even
    part of his forearm upon the optical tube whilst so
    doing (pg. 6 of the 'Holiday 2002' issue.)

    This just isn't fair, as someone needs to contact
    Tim Geisler to let him know that we're in here tearing
    his catalogs to pieces, albeit virtually.

    Alan...perusing Orion's catalogs since Summer, 1992

  5. #5
    David Nakamoto's Avatar
    David Nakamoto Guest

    Default Orion Catalog

    If a mount whooshed, I'd take care to be at least one hundred yards away,
    as either the mount will throw its counterweight off and it might hit me
    because I couldn't duck fast enough, or the telescope will be trown off
    violently, in which case I might think I'm close enough to try and catch it
    and in the process pull a muscle trying to move fast enough to grab it
    before it hit anything, or I'd be knocked out when it hit me in my attempts
    to catch it.

    "david" <> wrote in message om...

  6. #6
    Jon Isaacs's Avatar
    Jon Isaacs Guest

    Default Orion Catalog

    > This just isn't fair, as someone needs to contact

    Yeah, they certainly make good bathroom reading. But one does have to admit
    that they are well written and while at times they are quite close to stepping
    over the line, they do provide inserts which explain the basics of eyepieces,
    telescope type, etc.

    And Orion is much better than Celestron or Meade about making their inexpensive
    scopes useable. Orion's two $99 scopes, a 60mm refractor and a 3 inch
    reflector both come with decent 1.25 inch Kellner eyepieces that offer
    reasonable magnifications rather than 4mm Huygens eyepieces or some such.

    I do chuckle reading their ad writing, sometimes I find myself getting excited
    about something and then realize I had one and sold it because it didn't like
    it. :-)


  7. #7
    Philip Neidlinger's Avatar
    Philip Neidlinger Guest

    Default Orion Catalog

    How about this one.....the big 8" mirror literally gulps down the light.....

    I can't get the image of a whino sucking on his bottle out of my mind.

  8. #8
    Phil's Avatar
    Phil Guest

    Default Orion Catalog

    Well, it does say "literally" so it must be so <g>

    Must be really massive photons!


    Philip Neidlinger wrote:



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